im tired, so tired....
i wanna take some rest, let the tireness and pain go away,, but then i realised, that doesnt help.. my heart will not stop beating even when im asleep, there is no stop for the mass im in....
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
02. 11. 09
i hate men... seriousely.. they always say women are the one who doesnt know what they want. i tell u what,, men, they are not doing it any better..
if u dont know what the hell u want, then please, dont tell me "oh, i got feelings for u" or " i think im starting to like you.." i mean what the F...
and if u wanna us to be friends, then dont even think that i will have sex with u and pretend nothing happened and still having small talks... u think that is possible? oh, yeah.. IN HELL!!!
men,, they are seriousely dogs....
i need to stop living NY time in MEL...
if u dont know what the hell u want, then please, dont tell me "oh, i got feelings for u" or " i think im starting to like you.." i mean what the F...
and if u wanna us to be friends, then dont even think that i will have sex with u and pretend nothing happened and still having small talks... u think that is possible? oh, yeah.. IN HELL!!!
men,, they are seriousely dogs....
i need to stop living NY time in MEL...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
19.10.09
20 days to my final exam.. im scared
i wanna to study hard, to do well this time, i dont want to lose to her againe...
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i think it is the time i call it, i really had enough with her. i no need a drama queen in my life
i wanna to study hard, to do well this time, i dont want to lose to her againe...
---------------------------------------
i think it is the time i call it, i really had enough with her. i no need a drama queen in my life
18.10.09
i still miss him, but there are so many him now, i dont know which one i m missing right now.
maybe, i miss all of them, they all meant something important to me, my first love, first kiss, first night, first fling, and first disappointment.
they all meant sth to me, they all marked and shaped my life in one way or another. i might not held the same significance in their life, but i dont really care.
i am the one person who matters in the play, the play is called my life.
im lonely.. all i need is to have someone to held me in his/her arms. i need the weight of another person to smooth my nerves...
but where are u?
maybe, i miss all of them, they all meant something important to me, my first love, first kiss, first night, first fling, and first disappointment.
they all meant sth to me, they all marked and shaped my life in one way or another. i might not held the same significance in their life, but i dont really care.
i am the one person who matters in the play, the play is called my life.
im lonely.. all i need is to have someone to held me in his/her arms. i need the weight of another person to smooth my nerves...
but where are u?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
10.10.09
i know, i know, didnt write for ages, again, but on the other hand, on one read them allso. so i will just update here when i got the time...
came to know a guy recently, he's,, almost the guy, but there are sth about him that i dont like, maybe the correlation between him and what i left behind.
anyway, i will give it a go, see how things turn out..
came to know a guy recently, he's,, almost the guy, but there are sth about him that i dont like, maybe the correlation between him and what i left behind.
anyway, i will give it a go, see how things turn out..
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
01.10.9
same opening sentense 'didnt been here for long..'
just went to Paul's birthday party.. miss my friends
dont really feel like writing these days..
just went to Paul's birthday party.. miss my friends
dont really feel like writing these days..
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
24.09.09
ok, another day is gone...
today, another one of most, terrible day..
1st, went to get my final injection, and when i trying to pay the bill, the clinic manager told me that my card have been declined. Ok, i went to the bank a few blocks down the street, the bank manager helped to check my account and even called up the credt card department to reformed that there is nothing wrong with my card, but sth wrong with their machine. so, i went back to the clinic and ask them to try again, and when i tried to tell them what the bank to me, they just blowed me off. and asking me to cash out from my credt card account,, i mean WTF.. why should i pay for their damn mistakes! at this point, i was on the edge of being late for my physio appointment. so i left my ID to them and went for my 330pm appointment. k, so after my physio,which i paid with my credt card....... i went back to the clinic, and it was raining, my damn shoes were killing me. k, after i went back, they tried again, declined again. then i told them that's their machine's problem. let me quote
"Ok, there is nothing wrong with our machine, i will key in ur card no. to prove u wrong." and the show was on...
" it went through..."
they didnt even say sorry for the troubles i was in... i mean GDMFSOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
k, there's sth else. on my way back home, i was standing near the door, and the damn tram driver just stoped the tram and opened the side door, which is not suppose to open. so i was trapped by the door. he didnt say sorry, what he said was " hey, get out of my way.." WTFFFFFF.....
today, another one of most, terrible day..
1st, went to get my final injection, and when i trying to pay the bill, the clinic manager told me that my card have been declined. Ok, i went to the bank a few blocks down the street, the bank manager helped to check my account and even called up the credt card department to reformed that there is nothing wrong with my card, but sth wrong with their machine. so, i went back to the clinic and ask them to try again, and when i tried to tell them what the bank to me, they just blowed me off. and asking me to cash out from my credt card account,, i mean WTF.. why should i pay for their damn mistakes! at this point, i was on the edge of being late for my physio appointment. so i left my ID to them and went for my 330pm appointment. k, so after my physio,which i paid with my credt card....... i went back to the clinic, and it was raining, my damn shoes were killing me. k, after i went back, they tried again, declined again. then i told them that's their machine's problem. let me quote
"Ok, there is nothing wrong with our machine, i will key in ur card no. to prove u wrong." and the show was on...
" it went through..."
they didnt even say sorry for the troubles i was in... i mean GDMFSOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
k, there's sth else. on my way back home, i was standing near the door, and the damn tram driver just stoped the tram and opened the side door, which is not suppose to open. so i was trapped by the door. he didnt say sorry, what he said was " hey, get out of my way.." WTFFFFFF.....
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
23.09.09
im slacking on the daily basis...
met my mother's friend's daughter today. after i saw the bras my dear woman brought me, i have to say.. she is my woman....OMG... orange? yellow? BLUE?????!!!!god, she even manage to destroy my black....
spend some money on some useless stuff, again like i always do....
gonna start study soon, still planning to go to Queenscliff by the end of my holiday.
i thought about JF quite often now, dont really know why, i guess im still hung up with the idea that i didnt get what i want form him, or put it this way, im having issue because nobody got hurt... im sick.. am i not?
i need to get laid, soon, i need someone to love me, now.
i always get pissed off with ___, i really dont like her as friend, she always says stuff that hurts me like hell. im just kept wondering how the hell can she manage to say those mean things to me everytime? is that part of her nature? or is she just doesnt give a crap about what i feel. god knows...
what do i care....
met my mother's friend's daughter today. after i saw the bras my dear woman brought me, i have to say.. she is my woman....OMG... orange? yellow? BLUE?????!!!!god, she even manage to destroy my black....
spend some money on some useless stuff, again like i always do....
gonna start study soon, still planning to go to Queenscliff by the end of my holiday.
i thought about JF quite often now, dont really know why, i guess im still hung up with the idea that i didnt get what i want form him, or put it this way, im having issue because nobody got hurt... im sick.. am i not?
i need to get laid, soon, i need someone to love me, now.
i always get pissed off with ___, i really dont like her as friend, she always says stuff that hurts me like hell. im just kept wondering how the hell can she manage to say those mean things to me everytime? is that part of her nature? or is she just doesnt give a crap about what i feel. god knows...
what do i care....
Sunday, September 20, 2009
20.09.09
didnt write a word for days already..
finished my Psychology essay by Wed, made up all the tuts i missed out on Thur, spnd most of my friday morning at home doing nothing and the rest of the day shop and club... wokeup around 12 on Sat and wasted the rest of the day shop around. that's what happened in the past few days...
hook up with a few guys in the club friday night. had fun, gonna go again soon. but im seriousely not gonna wear heels higher than 4inches... after shop and dance for 20 hrs in those shoes, my legs hurt like hell...
i think the only reason i like fishing in the club is matter of control. after a few shots of tequila and vodka, im finally able to let meself loose... finally allow myself to do what makes me happy....
finished my Psychology essay by Wed, made up all the tuts i missed out on Thur, spnd most of my friday morning at home doing nothing and the rest of the day shop and club... wokeup around 12 on Sat and wasted the rest of the day shop around. that's what happened in the past few days...
hook up with a few guys in the club friday night. had fun, gonna go again soon. but im seriousely not gonna wear heels higher than 4inches... after shop and dance for 20 hrs in those shoes, my legs hurt like hell...
i think the only reason i like fishing in the club is matter of control. after a few shots of tequila and vodka, im finally able to let meself loose... finally allow myself to do what makes me happy....
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
14.09.09
by the end of the day, i wanna be able to look at myself in the mirror knowing that everything will be okay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just got this from Jon,
Almost a year past since i met him in Tasmania, he still looks the same. I think he just turned 26 not long ago; the photo was in Brazil, his yearly vacation.
Kinda miss him, not the way you think. He is only my one week affair, that’s for sure, but there is something in him I haven’t seen in anyone I met after him. I always felt safe around hin. I couldn’t tell why.
He once told me that he wants to get married to a Jewish girl before 28 and have lots of Jewish babies, hopefully he has someone now, he’s a good guy, deserves happiness.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
13.09.09
Woke up around 730 this morning, for God knows what reason. Did some laundry before breakfast.
Started to feel things will be different, soon.
Someone asked me why I have some many questions? I don’t know the answer. I always have questions, but never the answers. I guess I’m just waiting for someone to give me the answers to my questions.
I like to study people, how they behave and what they think. I want to know more about everybody else, but no one, no one should enter my life uninvited.
It makes me, afraid.
Started to feel things will be different, soon.
Someone asked me why I have some many questions? I don’t know the answer. I always have questions, but never the answers. I guess I’m just waiting for someone to give me the answers to my questions.
I like to study people, how they behave and what they think. I want to know more about everybody else, but no one, no one should enter my life uninvited.
It makes me, afraid.
12.09.09
How can anyone be sure to accept someone else in their life?
How can u be sure u won’t get hurt?
Do you just make the decision based on your confidence?
Or are you knowingly taking the chance to expose your vulnerabilities without doubts?
Is life a game?
Are some people just better players than others naturally?
Or they evolve through their experience?
How can u be sure u won’t get hurt?
Do you just make the decision based on your confidence?
Or are you knowingly taking the chance to expose your vulnerabilities without doubts?
Is life a game?
Are some people just better players than others naturally?
Or they evolve through their experience?
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