03.05.2010

i dont know what to write....
my life for the past 2months was a giant mass...
i want to settle down, but cant  find anyone willing to go there with me..
im giving up...
for good..

05.04. 2010

how long has it been?
didnt sleep so well last night,, thinking about someone constantly.
i know what i should do and what i wanna do, but just dont know which is the right one.
friends with benifits?
i dont think so, that's not what his looking for.
for me? he's the kind of guy i would normally fall for, so like i told him, i dont think  i will be able to seperate what's gonna happen if i let it happen.
i think i would love to play around with him, just add a bit of fun to my life. i think i need it...
if i go along with him, i will just be one of the girls in his life who is easily being forgotten.. i want to be different, i wanna be someone he cant get over with....
does that make me a bad person?
i dont know,
do you?

14.11.09

im tired, so tired....
i wanna take some rest, let the tireness and pain go away,, but then i realised, that doesnt help.. my heart will not stop beating even when im asleep, there is no stop for the mass im in....

02. 11. 09

i hate men... seriousely.. they always say women are the one who doesnt know what they want. i tell u what,, men, they are not doing it any better..
if u dont know what the hell u want, then please, dont tell me "oh, i got feelings for u" or " i think im starting to like you.." i mean what the F...
and if u wanna us to be friends, then dont even think that i will have sex with u and pretend nothing happened and still having small talks... u think that is possible? oh, yeah.. IN HELL!!!
men,, they are seriousely dogs....
i need to stop living NY time in MEL...

28.10.10

what the hell am i doing...
fuck.................

19.10.09

20 days to my final exam.. im scared
i wanna to study hard, to do well this time, i dont want to lose to her againe...
---------------------------------------
i think it is the time i call it, i really had enough with her. i no need a drama queen in my life

18.10.09

i still miss him, but there are so many him now, i dont know which one i m missing right now.
maybe, i miss all of them, they all meant something important to me, my first love, first kiss, first night, first fling, and first disappointment.
they all meant sth to me, they all marked and shaped my life in one way or another. i might not held the same significance in their life, but i dont really care.
i am the one person who matters in the play, the play is called my life.
im lonely..  all i need is to have someone to held me in his/her arms. i need the weight of another person to smooth my nerves...
but where are u?